Distressed Since Birth

It was a Saturday afternoon on the 23rd of July 1994, my mother was nine months and a week pregnant with me, and my parents were taking a walk in Beverly Hills, not the one you might be thinking, the one in the Vaal. Why? You might ask? She was in labour. 

She tells me how they were calmer this time around because they had done this before. I was their second child and my big brother prayed and told Jesus that he wanted a sister and told my parents that if they did not bring a girl home, they should not bring the baby home, at least that is what I was told. I definitely believe that to be true. 

On the 24th of July, a day later, Dr. Parbhoo was set to deliver me at Lenmed hospital in Lenasia. By eleven o’clock he had confirmed that indeed my mother was in labour and at least 4cm dilated already. A few hours later, she had not dilated enough and had to be induced. She was induced three times and still, no movement. 

I was beginning to experience fetal distress and my mother was then rushed to get an emergency C-section. “I was sure I was going to die” is what my mother tells me whenever she retells the story of my birth and to this day is against induced labour but the c-section saved my life and probably hers too despite the fact that it delayed our first meeting. I was handed to my father first, where he then gave me the name I’m so proud to have, Bontle, meaning beauty, which of course, he must have had foresight because I mean… what can I say. 

I don’t recall that day myself but my mother says when we eventually met I just gazed into her eyes deeply, for what felt like an eternity and I immediately started breastfeeding to seal our bond. Now we are besties and our bond is unbreakable. 

As I reflect, 28 years later, I feel as though I have been in distress since. From day one, I was faced with a life-threatening situation. Then I was diagnosed with jaundice which almost killed me as a baby but I miraculously recovered and survived before I had to get a complete blood transfusion. I think of the many situations that have almost killed me and to miraculously survive over and over again to see my 28th birthday, I can only be grateful. 

If I could write down all the many times I have felt distressed, I am certain I could fill up a few pages. So many times I have felt like I could not breathe because the pain I was experiencing internally had me in somewhat of a chokehold and there were times when I literally couldn't breathe, and yet I still have life in me and oxygen every single day which is a blessing. 

I scrolled through my Facebook friends the other day and skipped over so many, not because I wasn't friends with them as a result of some fallout or growing apart but because so many of them are just no longer alive, it broke my heart. How is it normal to be this young and to have lost so many friends so young too?

We are all in distress, at least I’d like to think, and each day we are fighting for our lives, kicking to keep our heads above water and just keep breathing. Sometimes we get tired of kicking and we stop and let go until we sink and drown. For the first time in a long time, I didn't cry on my birthday, which made me cry, I know right? I'm a sucker. But those were happy tears, I feel like I’m floating and enjoying whatever direction the waves of life push me, and for now, that’s all I can do.

As someone wise once said, “just keep swimming” (Dory, Finding Nemo).